It just doesn't seem to be a subject that comes across in daily conversations.
Of course out of respect to others who are not religious or practiced different religions.
But I feel this time now is my time to talk a little bit about it.
I am a Catholic. Always been proud of it and never hid the fact that I was.
I grew up going to Church only on holidays and rare occasions, my Mom is a single mom
and used to have to work alot including Sundays. I was taught that prayer was strong and having faith in God was very important and special. But I always attended CCD on Wednesday since 1st grade. In the past year or so I came to a point in my life where I was completely and unquestionably lost. I had no where to turn. It then hit me especially hard when I attended Church for the first time in a long while and I felt as If I didn't know anything. I was confused among all the motions and parts of the Mass. I could barely muddle through a Bible. This year I decided to put strengthening my relationship with God first. I became active with my church youth group,made amazing friends, and attended fun Dio events that will always hold memories with me.
This year especially has been one of my toughest yet. I got the scare of my life actually late 2009 when I got in a car wreck at driver's ed when i was driving(not my fault) I only had very minor injuries as for the other 3 people in the car but it haunted me for months. Anything that flinched at me brought me a flash back. It could of been very worse. Someone was with me at that time and took over the wheel, I swear. There were other things also that hurt me, losing a best friend and having her tell every person she knows about you. I hated walking through the halls and feel like people were staring at me and has preconceived thoughts about me even if they never met me, I felt somewhat dirty. Even if I hadn't done anything truly bad or something that should condemn me to an awful place. I had spouts of depression, feeling worthless and stranded, like nobody wanted me. I have always been a shy person but I became particularly shy this past school year. I was afraid of being judged and slandered. These fears slowly faded throughout the school year. I had guts to tryout for Indian Players and made it. I have never acted once in my life until this 10th grade year of high school. I'm not the best but I am trying to improve. I reconnected with an old I guess acquaintance just recently. I got a car. I got into Christian alternative rock music, and LOVED it. I passed all my TAKS test. I think in these accomplishments God was there guiding me through it all, I know it for a fact because a few of them were mentioned in my nightly prayers a couple of times. I might not be at my highest point in my Catholic life but I'm trying. No, I'm not a Saint nor am I trying to be. I'm just trying to be the best person I can be. And with that I don't judge anyone based on anything. I've been naive and judgmental in the past, and I apologize truly to those that I've hurt. We all make mistakes. We all go against the grain and rebel against the golden rule. I thank God everyday for blessing me with a wonderful life and wonder family. I really can't ask for anything more.
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