Growing Up

As time passes on i learn more and more everyday.

One of the things i have discovered most lately is that

not everybody is gonna like you. As much as i can try to be

nice or whatever, some people are just not gonna be

in favor of you. It sucks, but it is the truth. And sometimes

you cannot be friends with everybody, sometimes you

have to choose what and who is right for yourself that

anything else. Another thing is that i am tired of is high school.

It is rough and tough and i feel like i absolutely do not belong.

I feel like i can't even be myself in the midst of it all, im tired

of the petty drama, the judgemental stares, the jealousy.

I feel like there is nobody i can sit down with and REALLY talk.

I just want a deep true conversation.

It's all so tiring. I'm just ready to start college, meet new people,

pursue my career (whatever that will be), be able to go

where i want, when i want, meet friends, go to concerts galore.

I just have those days where i feel so alone. As if i could just completly

breakdown because everything crashes against me.

I tend to be a complex person by heart

for i have never really been understood. Since i was young

i was always a deep thinker and analyzer, its just what i do.

I tend to love to read, and write, music, and daydreaming.

Perhaps you believe this is just a mere rant of mine.

But its true to what i feel.

Don't get me wrong though, i do love to laugh have fun

and act immature just as any other teenager but its not

a constant thing, you know?

In the end, i honestly don't know. I'm just merely trying to

figure out life day to day in its ups and down.

Such beauty that for a minute
death and ambition,even love,
doesn't enter into this.

A Promise to Burn

i'll keep on fighting,fighting for you

i swear i would give you the sun & the moon.

and today i look back on all the mistakes i've made.

of all of them you,at this point,are my favorite

you were someone new- i thought you were true.

of course i was wrong but i do still care about you.

but when i was there for you, you shut me out.

when we pass eachother in hallways we act as if we

never exsisted. i guess i was a mere temporary existent.

i wonder if you even remember my name at times.

these past blogs are about you, but you dont care.

you rather those naive girls instead,right?

i adore how one of them told me that i did not

even know you. boy, were they wrong.

oh and p.s. sooner or later (its sooner actuallly) i'll have to deal with you.